What's Sanity?

Stanne wrote yesterday about questioning her sanity. I think you're as sane as me stanne, if that's any comfort to you?! It does seem to me that when you're caring for someone with HD, your own mental limits are continually being tested. Parts of this week-end have been hellish. I've been pre-occupied with financial worries, whilst Roo has gone on about wanting to leave me. Hurray, you hear me shout. Not quite, it's a loop we've visited many times in the past. He wants to leave, but that's as far as it goes. He says 'it's' bad for the children (in front of the children), but that he's going to stay with them until the end. He's unable to process his thoughts and feelings, to a conclusion or state of action, so he keeps repeating the same statements. It's hard to know whether he's genuinely unhappy, or if he's just latched on to another obsession. By Saturday afternoon, we'd all had enough. So Arsey went to a friends, whilst Honey, Sweet-Pea and myself sat in a bookshop reading, until we reluctantly dragged ourselves home to Roo.
It's hard enough caring for someone you want to be with; difficult to look after someone you don't and bloody impossible when they don't want you to. Yet, somehow I will dig deep, recover my 'Let's Pretend' face, and find the resources needed to give Honey a happy birthday.