We Are Family
Over breakfast, one morning, Honey who is 7 asked me what made a family. He was keen to find a difference between friends and relations. We talked about grandmas, brothers and cousins. Then he mentioned Lucy and Co. We had stayed with them for a long period in the Summer when things were difficult at home. They had shuffled themselves around in an already crowded house and made room for 3 extras. We had just slipped into their way of living, even adopting grannies, and their home had become ours. Honey was certain that their love and generosity naturally made them into our family. He was unequivocal about it. Sweet-Pea talks about having three homes, and each one obviously provides her with comfort and security.
I found this whole conversation reassuring. I think that HD can frequently fracture relationships. My blood family is pretty bl**dy useless, and having had a particularly dysfuctional upbringing, where I found myself on the periphery of things, the thought that we can form our own family is a good one. I think it's comforting that the children are pragmatic about their own family gaps. When I look at our local HD group, I feel a sense of solidarity and belonging, that I've never really experienced before. On outings, we are a disparate bunch, yet in our muddle we laugh and encourage each other. Sometimes, I think that one of the reasons I stay with Roo, is because I want to stay with them. They are a sort of glue, holding us all together. HD is unexpectedly adding to my experiences of family.
I found this whole conversation reassuring. I think that HD can frequently fracture relationships. My blood family is pretty bl**dy useless, and having had a particularly dysfuctional upbringing, where I found myself on the periphery of things, the thought that we can form our own family is a good one. I think it's comforting that the children are pragmatic about their own family gaps. When I look at our local HD group, I feel a sense of solidarity and belonging, that I've never really experienced before. On outings, we are a disparate bunch, yet in our muddle we laugh and encourage each other. Sometimes, I think that one of the reasons I stay with Roo, is because I want to stay with them. They are a sort of glue, holding us all together. HD is unexpectedly adding to my experiences of family.
posted by Dee @ 9:23 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:21 AM,
stanne said…
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your relations!
The trouble with this saying is that sometimes people we choose as friends don't choose us. Perhaps they already have enough friends and can't fit you in too, perhaps they are at a different stage in their lives and their needs are different to yours. I'm really lucky in that although I don't see my family very often I know they would move hell and high water if I needed them. The same goes for my husband's family. I've tried to keep those bonds strong for my children as they grow up so they have a netwoek to fall back on if friends fail them.
The HD network, both real and virtual, is a source of strength. People with things in common are bound together and help each other both practcally and spiritually (is it the Blitz mentality.
Let's face it, we need all the friends we can get.
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